Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize