Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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