my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
