I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Randomize
