I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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