i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
