I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
