Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You need Xanax blowdarts
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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