I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
