I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The Olympian is in my bed
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
