are you still at the devil's house?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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