sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
