Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
