Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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