it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
