Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize