dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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