just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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