I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
