The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
