whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
