If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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