I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
