my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
