so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
