If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
