i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
