well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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