i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
