That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
