I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
