yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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