69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
