it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize