So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
