Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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