You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
