I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
