He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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