her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
why do cheetos always look like penises
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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