it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
