i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
