I heard we made out
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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