If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
