Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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