I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize