I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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