I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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