i would punch a child for taco bell
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
