The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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