i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
