I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
