i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she peed on how many people?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
