I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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