A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Please, let me fuck your mom
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
