I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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