i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
