Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
