Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
