Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I love you.
Bad choice
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
