he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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