Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
