trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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