ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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