when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
