why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
