This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
