Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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