I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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