don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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