I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
