Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
