One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
