I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
