dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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