and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
