She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
