i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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