It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize