I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
