North Korea, Best Korea!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
