We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
