I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize