she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
