butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
